Candles

OMG
a candle warmer was the best invention ever.
Seriously!
I have melted my creamy pumpkin candle all night last night and now all night tonight...
and it's still the same centimeter left as when i was actually burning it last week!
And it's just so great because i don't need to worry about running out
since you don't actually burn it
AND
since you don't burn it the smell is super amazing because you don't smell any of the actual burn
whoop
<3 my candle warmer
:D

Ugh. SAT

So sucky!
oh my god,
the june one my combined score was a 1600
500 math
520 reading
580 writing

i just got my october one
all together a 1580
530 reading
510 math
540 reading

so i went up in my two sucky ones and went down in my good one!
>.<

Sex.

Yeah I know, weird subject today...
BUT
I have a few comments on this:
1. WAIT

• you will not regret it 
• I know soooo many people that wish they had 
• you will probably end up giving it to someone you won't stay with 
• if you really love someone you won't complicate it at such a young age with this 

2. READINESS

• don't be pushed into it 
• don't allow your hormones to take over and you end up doing something you regret 
• emotions, emotions, Emotions: that is what really hurts, so i've heard

3. THE GUY

• Is he actually going to care if you break up after?
• Is he more experienced, is it safe? 
• Does he LOVE you? and not just plain old love, is he IN LOVE with you?

Just a few things to consider...
I mean i don't really have that great advice since i've never, but i've heard from others.
So yeah...
sex is personal and private and intimate, so don't fuck it up
:D

Relationship/Advice

I have been seeing around a lot lately that my friends are breaking up with their boyfriends...
or getting dumped.
And they are just heartbroken and crying and the whole nine,
Which i Totally understand. 
When Tim and I broke up in the beginning of 2010, right after the new year...
I was just devastated.
I didn't know what to do with myself.
I couldn't stop crying.
I couldn't eat.
Ugh it was terrible.
And now that I see this happening to others I just see myself in them and what happened to me.
And to be honest it's really sad.
I don't even have great advice for anyone.
It sucks is all I can really say.
It feels as if someone has just taken everything away from you that you have ever known
and there's no way to possibly fill that void.
It feels like that for a while, until you can come to terms with reality and accept that the way things are have changed.
Yet as soon as i was able to get to that point, which took about two months, Tim wanted me back
and like a fool I ran back.
I mean it was good be got back together,
we love each other,
but it seemed as if i was so desperate to get him back, because i was.
And all I can say is that whole situation allowed me to honestly grow as a woman,
it let me become more independent and no longer hide behind him
and taught me that not everything is going to turn out the way you may think.
So i guess my "advice" pretty much is to be independent.
Heartbreak hurts, but you can't let it dictate your life and you cannot allow your emotions to get in the way of your everyday life.

Period Problems

ugh
so inconstant and so damn annoying.
I really wish that it would just be regular instead of me having to guess:
when it's coming
how heavy the flow will be
how long it will last.
it just sucks
:/

New Nails!!

So I saw a tutorial for this on youtube...
i mean it's not all that complicated
honestly all it is is stripes :P
But whatever,
THEY'RE CANDY CORN!!
So basically it's just:
Paint them all orange
Do the little yellow on top
do the white strip like a french manicure
then a top coat haha
 Here's some pictures
:D

The other nail art I did the other day was dripping blood.
I just did a matte black with a sparkly red polish as the blood
No Top Coat or the black won't be matte

Relationship/Personal questioner

I only answer these things on my blog, because no one really reads this haha
sooo here we go!

• 1. Are looks important in a relationship?Not really, but you have to be attracted to them
• 2. Are relationships ever worth it?All are
• 3. Are you a virgin? Yes
• 4. Are you in a relationship? Yes
• 5. Are you in love?Yes
• 6. Are you single this year? No
• 7. Can you commit to one person?Yes
• 8. Describe your crush: My boyfriend?
• 9. Describe your perfect mate: Trust worthy, honest, caring, Tall, mature, intelligent 
• 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?No, that's just lust.
• 11. Do you ever want to get married?Yes
• 12. Do you forgive betrayal?I try
• 13. Do you get jealous easily?Sometimes, not recently
• 14. Do you have a crush on anyone?...wasn't this a question already?
• 15. Do you have any piercings?Yes
• 16. Do you have any tattoos?No
• 17. Do you like kissing in public?No
• 20. Do you shower every day?No
• 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?Yes
• 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Sure
• 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yes, I have
• 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?No
• 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?I am
• 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes
• 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?Yes
• 28. Have you ever been cheated on?No
• 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?No
• 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?No I've never honestly considered it, but i would take out some fat
• 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Of course
• 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? No not really
• 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?No
• 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?No
• 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yes
• 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?Yes
• 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yes
• 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes
• 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yes
• 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?Yes
• 41. Have you had sex so far this year?No
• 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Forever
• 43. How long was your longest relationship? 4 years and 6 months
• 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?One serious one two I don't really count
• 45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?One
• 46. How many times did you have sex last year?None
• 47. How old are you?Turning 17 very soon
• 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Go for it
• 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?He is very thoughtful
• 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?Yes
• 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?Yes
• 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?Yes, because they don't even want help and I'm tired of trying to save them
• 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Yes
• 54. Is there someone you will never forget?Yes
• 55. Share a relationship story.Um...well me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 5 years but almost three years ago we broke up because she was older and I wrote notes to him everyday and left them in the bathroom under the sink for him to read
• 56. State 8 facts about your body 
• I'm short
• I'm not skinny but i'm not totally fat 
• I have naturally really red cheeks 
• I have stretch marks 
• I have normal sized feet 
• I have a pretty big chest 
• I have short fat fingers 
• I have really ashy elbows
• 57. Things you want to say to an ex: It was interesting..
• 58. What are five ways to win your heart? 
• Write me a letter/poem 
• Dedicate a song to me
• Tell me you love me 
• Buy me flowers 
• Slow dance with me 
• 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) I will at the end of this
• 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?He is really bad with money and doesn't really think about things
• 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?Their eyes
• 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?Umm..I have no answer to that
• 63. What is your definition of “having sex”?Penetration
• 64. What is your definition of cheating?Kissing, sex, saying you're in love with them
• 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?Kissing
• 66. What is your favourite roleplay? None
• 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Having a really nice and deep conversation over dinner and then taking a walk by the water and just enjoying each others company
• 68. What is your sexual orientation?Straight
• 69. What turns you off?Disgusting teeth/ Bad breath
• 70. What turns you on?Beautiful eyes and soft hands
• 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?Haven't really had any
• 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?I wouldn't know
• 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?Buy me a dozen roses for no reason
• 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?Height
• 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?Catered to me when I broke my ankle
• 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?Written them a poem of our relationship story
• 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?Well me and my boyfriend are four years apart but I think anything over like 6 is too much
• 78. What’s your dirtiest secret? Um it wouldn't be a secret if I said now would it?
• 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?I long time ago, when my boyfriend was flirting with some girl, only because he tells me all the time he doesn't flirt with me because he doesn't know how
• 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?When I realized I was in love with my boyfriend
• 81. Who are five people you find attractive? 
• Tim
• Hugh Jackman 
• Robert Pattinson 
• Zac Effron in The Lucky One 
•  Warrick from CSI Las Vegas
• 82. Who is the last person you hugged?My dad
• 83. Who was your first kiss with?Tim
• 84. Why did your last relationship fail?My family and negativity got in the way
• 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?No. Although I did decide to meet someone from school who I started talking to first on Facebook and he turned out to be a jerk.

Here's me!! :]

AP STATS

OMG Zscores are so damn annoying
I feel like they are super simple but i'm just not getting it!
and i have a quiz tomorrow,
my average already dropped 3 points and i really don't want to drop any more!
Tim's sister helped me with my hw over texts.
but idk i still don't 100% feel there :/
ugh

calm? nope

So i am over the tree thing now.
virtually just excpeting the fact no one cares what i say.
But now i am overwhelmed with homework
if i would've started it earlier that would've been better
but of course not.
I have a rough draft to write for english,
I better get on that!
:D

Halloween Decorating/Christmas battles

Hey.
So yes I was decorating for Halloween today with my dad.
It was super fun, listening to Halloween music and what not
we even went to the store to get batteries to make some of the hanging ghost light up.
Which my dad never ever does.
I figured today was going to be a pretty good day.
I'm off from school and i have really been looking forward to decorating
I love changing up what's around the house for whatever holiday it is.
I put up all these cool sticky things on the windows
and we even have this light up stop sign for "witch crossing"
anyways
all was going well until my damn dad has to bring up Christmas and the tree.
I don't remember ever having a fake tree
EVER.
and ever since my dad's wife moved in she has been badgering him to change to a fake one.
Of course i always throw a bitch fit over that.
But clearly this year my efforts weren't good enough.
Since my stepsister. (my dad's, wife's daughter)
moved to North Carolina and won't be coming up for Christmas that's their excuse.
I told him flat out, I don't really care
I mean i understand they want to put the tree up early so she can see it or whatever
but that doesn't warren a fake tree!
OH and of course, she and her mom are both conveniently allergic to real ones.
I knew my step mom was because she's allergic to practically everything,
no kidding.
But my dad doesn't really give a crap what I say.
But he wants me to stay in this god forsaken house until i graduate college
i'm sorry but he has another thing coming and I already told him that.
I can't stand this house, the lack of respect, the lack of concern for people's feelings and the fact that he is so damn fake just like everyone else.
I just wish for once he and everyone else would care that i'm upset instead of making it seem like i'm trying to ruin everything and be a self centered bitch.
and then when he sees all of his old friends he tells them how wonderful i am, how great i am in school and so on, but i disagree on one thing and suddenly i'm to blame for every natural disaster that's occurred in the last 20 years, I mean come on!
ugh anyways, i just really needed to get that off my chest.
:/

Mouth Sores

First off:
I do NOT have any STD's (i'm a virgin XD)
ummm
but I do get cold sores, I have every year since i've been super small.
I don't really care what people think or how it looks,
BUT
they hurt :[
I also have a canker sore inside my lip at the same time
which sucks SO bad.
ughh
and i have a dance tonight at school
so that makes this 10 times worse.
:(

Body Issues.

So normally i really would never put my weight out in public, but no one really reads this
XD
so i was weighed in gym today and i'm
194.
Can you even believe that? I mean maybe YOU can...but I can't
I know i'm not thin, i've always been cubby.
I mean I don't look, feel or anything having to do with that number,( i thought like 160-165) so it doesn't really bother me all too much,
But then in a way it does.
I want to be healthy, not super skinny.
I want to be beautiful and feel confident, which i never really have,
so Yeah
I do want to loose weight, but not because i am obsessed with looks and numbers.
Just because I want to live a better, healthier lifestyle.
I really always have wanted that but really lacked the motivation.
Maybe this will give me the push I need.
I know i need to exercise more.
Eat better.
All that stuff everyone says haha
anyways,
yeah that's all I wanted to say
:)

The house i live in

I really just CANNOT deal with this anymore.
These people. this atmosphere.
Really it's unbearable.
If you lived here you would think the same.
Everyone. And I DO mean everyone is INSANE, 
One second everyone is fine.
and the next
BAM everyone is fucking screaming and acting insane.
I just don't understand it.
Maybe I wouldn't be so stressed or have anxiety over the simplest shit if people i lived with didn't act this way.
And now i have to deal with my dad all night because it's meet my fucking teachers night.
UGH.
:/