Body Issues.

So normally i really would never put my weight out in public, but no one really reads this
XD
so i was weighed in gym today and i'm
194.
Can you even believe that? I mean maybe YOU can...but I can't
I know i'm not thin, i've always been cubby.
I mean I don't look, feel or anything having to do with that number,( i thought like 160-165) so it doesn't really bother me all too much,
But then in a way it does.
I want to be healthy, not super skinny.
I want to be beautiful and feel confident, which i never really have,
so Yeah
I do want to loose weight, but not because i am obsessed with looks and numbers.
Just because I want to live a better, healthier lifestyle.
I really always have wanted that but really lacked the motivation.
Maybe this will give me the push I need.
I know i need to exercise more.
Eat better.
All that stuff everyone says haha
anyways,
yeah that's all I wanted to say
:)