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I don't know...
why i feel this way.
I just hate being everywhere.
I hate everything
and it's horrible.
It's like yes i have this realization...
this epiphany if you will
that i know i cannot go on like this.
But I just can't help it.
My boyfriend is away for the weekend.
and i'm waiting for him to contact me..
but he just wont
is that effecting the way that i feel?
Maybe.
Or maybe it's something else that has always been there
but now in this awkward waiting time it's being revealed.
Is that possible?
It's like i want to run away from every corner of my life.
But where does that leave me?
While everyone i know if off starting the new chapter of their lives
i am sulking and
NO
i don't want to be this way...
and no i don't think it's depression
and i don't think it's jealousy.
I honestly don't know what it is
and i hate it.