Hot water

Hey,
Sorry i've been gone for so long...
my laptop (still sucking)
and recently my tablet wouldn't charge and i was dyinggggg
anyways
soo we didn't have hot water for ever and i was also dying over that
we just got it fixed today thank god but we haven't had in in like two weeks which was horrible
and my friends moms boyfriend knows what he's talking about when it comes to that so now we have it
thank goddddd
i hate not being able to take a shower
and also not being able to wash my hands in warm water!
at least you don't brush your teeth with hot water, now that would suck!
tim and his sister are watching doctor who, boring
and they made some disgusting chicken for dinner
surprise surprise.
well anyways i just wanted to stop by and say hi
byyyyye
:D

Christmas Season

Hey,
I don't even know what direction i want to go in with this blog...
but i know it's a negative one.
It's about this season and my family.
I am so unhappy.
On a scale from 1-10 of how happy you are i am probably a three.
I don't even know why, it's just everything all meshed together.
The people that live here, the fact that everyone is so pissy all the time.
I mean really every day everyone is so pissed off, including me,
and i don't know why.
and then when everyone is happy it pisses me off even more because everyone is acting sooo fake.
I just really can't stand falseness
and i just really can't stand everyone that i live with.
UGH.
anyways,
I...hate the holidays.
It's supposed to be a time of happiness and togetherness and even when it is in my house,
to me it's just everyone pretending to like each other.
If you're not happy don't pretend,
and i think that's why i always seem like the odd one out and i always seem like i'm in a pissed mood.
I'm not going to pretend i'm happy when i'm not and i'm not actually going to be happy when everyone else is just pretending....
if that makes any sense?
well anyways.
that's really it for my sucky holiday rant.
:/

UPDATES!!

Hi!
I know i've been away for sooo so long.
I turned 17 on November 25th
whoop yay me!
haha
umm I applied to all of my colleges:
Suny Stony Brook
St. Joseph's
Adelphi
Dowling
Hofstra
ummm I'm #4 in my graduating class
annnnnnd what else?
well pretty much I have just been away because....
my laptop is a hunk of crap.
I need to get the motherboard fixed
and that won't be coming back to me until mid January...
Sad me.
Nothing has really happened since the last time I blogged,
except for the few things I already mentioned of course haha
oh and i think i'm going to dye my hair, one last hoorah so to speak for high school
when it comes to my hair.
really once prom season and whatever comes around,
Black hair for me!
well anyways,
I know no one reads this...
BUT
i just wanted to let you know where i've been and why
sooo yeah
:D

My college essay

So i wanted to have an essay for college admissions that would literally jump off the page at the reader
I wanted to be unconventional and inspiring
soooo
i decided to do something different
my guidance counselor and i had the same idea
which was:
write about my hair dying!
which i thought was ingenious because that is something about me that sticks out to most people
besides my high grades
which those two also seem to clash in a way so i just figured...
Perfect!
soo here is the outline i wrote up for her and i to go over tomorrow when i go back
_________________________________________________________________________

Amanda Butera

College Essay Ideas/Outline

·         The significance behind my hair dying will be the main focus

·         All the colors I have done and their meanings as a whole(http://crystal-cure.com/color-meanings.html) and (http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/meaning-of-colors.html)

o   Red

§  Stands for passion and courage

o   Orange

§  Endurance and optimism

o   Green

§  Life and well being

o   Pink

§  Love and beauty

o   Blue

§  Youth and spirituality

o   Gold/Yellow

§  Joy and prosperity

o   Purple

§  Royalty and mystery

o   Black

§  Earth and stability

o   Half and half: Top one color and underneath another color

·         To me having my hair different colors isn’t about attention or the shock factor, different hair colors made me feel differently and bring out different parts of my personality

o   When I have black hair I feel more put together and more mature

o   When I have red hair(favorite) I find myself to be more outgoing and courageous

o   My pink and purple hair makes me feel more feminine and beautiful

o   And my blue hair(favorite) makes me feel more deep and interesting

·         When I have other wacky things with my hair such as streaks/highlights I feel it allows me to show some of my eccentric personality, like a glimpse of the more daring part of myself, but still allows me to look put together and not just totally out there

·         I started dying my hair in 6^th grade when I realized I didn’t want to be like everyone else and I didn’t want to fit in one particular mold or stereotype

·         Dying my hair is a way to express the different parts of my personality, my feminine side, my courageous side, my mysterious side and my maturity level all at once

·         Use this quote to explain that we live in a world of color which makes things more interesting

o   “I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for.” Georgia O'Keeffe(American artist in early 1900’s)

 _____________________________________________________________________________

so yeah that's it and i'll come back to this topic again soon

after her and i go over the concept! 

:D

November

First off I am super shocked that November has come so fast!
And it's already the 8th...
Ten more days until Tim's birthday and 17 more until mine:)
I mean our birthdays always sucks, but whatever.
Ummm what else?
We are soo behind in school because of all the time off
and i have a stats quiz tomorrow
oh and it's the last day of the quarter
sooo
i hope i do good!
well i just wanted to check in.
I'm tired and need to pick out clothes for tomorrow
night
:)

Long Time No Write

Hey!
So sorry i've been gone for so long.
With the hurricane and all I had no power for a week at my house.
It has been so dark and cold :/
I have also been out of school since last Monday, i'm going back tomorrow
OH
Happy Election Day!!
I think it can be either one,
I don't like Romney, but i know enough people who do to think he may win
I just want to know already.
I am dying my hair today!!
I'm doing a deep auburn red right over what I have now, I am sooo ready for a change!
Um what else?
Oh I finished my english book (Tess of the Durbervilles)
She kills her rapist turn priest to get back with her runaway husband and gets caught and killed at the end
yup,
uplifting books for the win ;]
anyways
I am making a carrot cake, as an excuse to use the oven and warm up the house
whoop
so I need to go check on that then hair time!
:D

Candles

OMG
a candle warmer was the best invention ever.
Seriously!
I have melted my creamy pumpkin candle all night last night and now all night tonight...
and it's still the same centimeter left as when i was actually burning it last week!
And it's just so great because i don't need to worry about running out
since you don't actually burn it
AND
since you don't burn it the smell is super amazing because you don't smell any of the actual burn
whoop
<3 my candle warmer
:D

Ugh. SAT

So sucky!
oh my god,
the june one my combined score was a 1600
500 math
520 reading
580 writing

i just got my october one
all together a 1580
530 reading
510 math
540 reading

so i went up in my two sucky ones and went down in my good one!
>.<

Sex.

Yeah I know, weird subject today...
BUT
I have a few comments on this:
1. WAIT

• you will not regret it 
• I know soooo many people that wish they had 
• you will probably end up giving it to someone you won't stay with 
• if you really love someone you won't complicate it at such a young age with this 

2. READINESS

• don't be pushed into it 
• don't allow your hormones to take over and you end up doing something you regret 
• emotions, emotions, Emotions: that is what really hurts, so i've heard

3. THE GUY

• Is he actually going to care if you break up after?
• Is he more experienced, is it safe? 
• Does he LOVE you? and not just plain old love, is he IN LOVE with you?

Just a few things to consider...
I mean i don't really have that great advice since i've never, but i've heard from others.
So yeah...
sex is personal and private and intimate, so don't fuck it up
:D

Relationship/Advice

I have been seeing around a lot lately that my friends are breaking up with their boyfriends...
or getting dumped.
And they are just heartbroken and crying and the whole nine,
Which i Totally understand. 
When Tim and I broke up in the beginning of 2010, right after the new year...
I was just devastated.
I didn't know what to do with myself.
I couldn't stop crying.
I couldn't eat.
Ugh it was terrible.
And now that I see this happening to others I just see myself in them and what happened to me.
And to be honest it's really sad.
I don't even have great advice for anyone.
It sucks is all I can really say.
It feels as if someone has just taken everything away from you that you have ever known
and there's no way to possibly fill that void.
It feels like that for a while, until you can come to terms with reality and accept that the way things are have changed.
Yet as soon as i was able to get to that point, which took about two months, Tim wanted me back
and like a fool I ran back.
I mean it was good be got back together,
we love each other,
but it seemed as if i was so desperate to get him back, because i was.
And all I can say is that whole situation allowed me to honestly grow as a woman,
it let me become more independent and no longer hide behind him
and taught me that not everything is going to turn out the way you may think.
So i guess my "advice" pretty much is to be independent.
Heartbreak hurts, but you can't let it dictate your life and you cannot allow your emotions to get in the way of your everyday life.

Period Problems

ugh
so inconstant and so damn annoying.
I really wish that it would just be regular instead of me having to guess:
when it's coming
how heavy the flow will be
how long it will last.
it just sucks
:/

New Nails!!

So I saw a tutorial for this on youtube...
i mean it's not all that complicated
honestly all it is is stripes :P
But whatever,
THEY'RE CANDY CORN!!
So basically it's just:
Paint them all orange
Do the little yellow on top
do the white strip like a french manicure
then a top coat haha
 Here's some pictures
:D

The other nail art I did the other day was dripping blood.
I just did a matte black with a sparkly red polish as the blood
No Top Coat or the black won't be matte

Relationship/Personal questioner

I only answer these things on my blog, because no one really reads this haha
sooo here we go!

• 1. Are looks important in a relationship?Not really, but you have to be attracted to them
• 2. Are relationships ever worth it?All are
• 3. Are you a virgin? Yes
• 4. Are you in a relationship? Yes
• 5. Are you in love?Yes
• 6. Are you single this year? No
• 7. Can you commit to one person?Yes
• 8. Describe your crush: My boyfriend?
• 9. Describe your perfect mate: Trust worthy, honest, caring, Tall, mature, intelligent 
• 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?No, that's just lust.
• 11. Do you ever want to get married?Yes
• 12. Do you forgive betrayal?I try
• 13. Do you get jealous easily?Sometimes, not recently
• 14. Do you have a crush on anyone?...wasn't this a question already?
• 15. Do you have any piercings?Yes
• 16. Do you have any tattoos?No
• 17. Do you like kissing in public?No
• 20. Do you shower every day?No
• 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?Yes
• 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Sure
• 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yes, I have
• 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?No
• 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?I am
• 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes
• 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?Yes
• 28. Have you ever been cheated on?No
• 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?No
• 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?No I've never honestly considered it, but i would take out some fat
• 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Of course
• 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? No not really
• 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?No
• 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?No
• 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yes
• 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?Yes
• 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yes
• 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes
• 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yes
• 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?Yes
• 41. Have you had sex so far this year?No
• 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Forever
• 43. How long was your longest relationship? 4 years and 6 months
• 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?One serious one two I don't really count
• 45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?One
• 46. How many times did you have sex last year?None
• 47. How old are you?Turning 17 very soon
• 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Go for it
• 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?He is very thoughtful
• 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?Yes
• 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?Yes
• 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?Yes, because they don't even want help and I'm tired of trying to save them
• 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Yes
• 54. Is there someone you will never forget?Yes
• 55. Share a relationship story.Um...well me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 5 years but almost three years ago we broke up because she was older and I wrote notes to him everyday and left them in the bathroom under the sink for him to read
• 56. State 8 facts about your body 
• I'm short
• I'm not skinny but i'm not totally fat 
• I have naturally really red cheeks 
• I have stretch marks 
• I have normal sized feet 
• I have a pretty big chest 
• I have short fat fingers 
• I have really ashy elbows
• 57. Things you want to say to an ex: It was interesting..
• 58. What are five ways to win your heart? 
• Write me a letter/poem 
• Dedicate a song to me
• Tell me you love me 
• Buy me flowers 
• Slow dance with me 
• 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) I will at the end of this
• 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?He is really bad with money and doesn't really think about things
• 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?Their eyes
• 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?Umm..I have no answer to that
• 63. What is your definition of “having sex”?Penetration
• 64. What is your definition of cheating?Kissing, sex, saying you're in love with them
• 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?Kissing
• 66. What is your favourite roleplay? None
• 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Having a really nice and deep conversation over dinner and then taking a walk by the water and just enjoying each others company
• 68. What is your sexual orientation?Straight
• 69. What turns you off?Disgusting teeth/ Bad breath
• 70. What turns you on?Beautiful eyes and soft hands
• 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?Haven't really had any
• 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?I wouldn't know
• 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?Buy me a dozen roses for no reason
• 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?Height
• 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?Catered to me when I broke my ankle
• 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?Written them a poem of our relationship story
• 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?Well me and my boyfriend are four years apart but I think anything over like 6 is too much
• 78. What’s your dirtiest secret? Um it wouldn't be a secret if I said now would it?
• 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?I long time ago, when my boyfriend was flirting with some girl, only because he tells me all the time he doesn't flirt with me because he doesn't know how
• 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?When I realized I was in love with my boyfriend
• 81. Who are five people you find attractive? 
• Tim
• Hugh Jackman 
• Robert Pattinson 
• Zac Effron in The Lucky One 
•  Warrick from CSI Las Vegas
• 82. Who is the last person you hugged?My dad
• 83. Who was your first kiss with?Tim
• 84. Why did your last relationship fail?My family and negativity got in the way
• 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?No. Although I did decide to meet someone from school who I started talking to first on Facebook and he turned out to be a jerk.

Here's me!! :]

AP STATS

OMG Zscores are so damn annoying
I feel like they are super simple but i'm just not getting it!
and i have a quiz tomorrow,
my average already dropped 3 points and i really don't want to drop any more!
Tim's sister helped me with my hw over texts.
but idk i still don't 100% feel there :/
ugh

calm? nope

So i am over the tree thing now.
virtually just excpeting the fact no one cares what i say.
But now i am overwhelmed with homework
if i would've started it earlier that would've been better
but of course not.
I have a rough draft to write for english,
I better get on that!
:D

Halloween Decorating/Christmas battles

Hey.
So yes I was decorating for Halloween today with my dad.
It was super fun, listening to Halloween music and what not
we even went to the store to get batteries to make some of the hanging ghost light up.
Which my dad never ever does.
I figured today was going to be a pretty good day.
I'm off from school and i have really been looking forward to decorating
I love changing up what's around the house for whatever holiday it is.
I put up all these cool sticky things on the windows
and we even have this light up stop sign for "witch crossing"
anyways
all was going well until my damn dad has to bring up Christmas and the tree.
I don't remember ever having a fake tree
EVER.
and ever since my dad's wife moved in she has been badgering him to change to a fake one.
Of course i always throw a bitch fit over that.
But clearly this year my efforts weren't good enough.
Since my stepsister. (my dad's, wife's daughter)
moved to North Carolina and won't be coming up for Christmas that's their excuse.
I told him flat out, I don't really care
I mean i understand they want to put the tree up early so she can see it or whatever
but that doesn't warren a fake tree!
OH and of course, she and her mom are both conveniently allergic to real ones.
I knew my step mom was because she's allergic to practically everything,
no kidding.
But my dad doesn't really give a crap what I say.
But he wants me to stay in this god forsaken house until i graduate college
i'm sorry but he has another thing coming and I already told him that.
I can't stand this house, the lack of respect, the lack of concern for people's feelings and the fact that he is so damn fake just like everyone else.
I just wish for once he and everyone else would care that i'm upset instead of making it seem like i'm trying to ruin everything and be a self centered bitch.
and then when he sees all of his old friends he tells them how wonderful i am, how great i am in school and so on, but i disagree on one thing and suddenly i'm to blame for every natural disaster that's occurred in the last 20 years, I mean come on!
ugh anyways, i just really needed to get that off my chest.
:/

Mouth Sores

First off:
I do NOT have any STD's (i'm a virgin XD)
ummm
but I do get cold sores, I have every year since i've been super small.
I don't really care what people think or how it looks,
BUT
they hurt :[
I also have a canker sore inside my lip at the same time
which sucks SO bad.
ughh
and i have a dance tonight at school
so that makes this 10 times worse.
:(

Body Issues.

So normally i really would never put my weight out in public, but no one really reads this
XD
so i was weighed in gym today and i'm
194.
Can you even believe that? I mean maybe YOU can...but I can't
I know i'm not thin, i've always been cubby.
I mean I don't look, feel or anything having to do with that number,( i thought like 160-165) so it doesn't really bother me all too much,
But then in a way it does.
I want to be healthy, not super skinny.
I want to be beautiful and feel confident, which i never really have,
so Yeah
I do want to loose weight, but not because i am obsessed with looks and numbers.
Just because I want to live a better, healthier lifestyle.
I really always have wanted that but really lacked the motivation.
Maybe this will give me the push I need.
I know i need to exercise more.
Eat better.
All that stuff everyone says haha
anyways,
yeah that's all I wanted to say
:)

The house i live in

I really just CANNOT deal with this anymore.
These people. this atmosphere.
Really it's unbearable.
If you lived here you would think the same.
Everyone. And I DO mean everyone is INSANE, 
One second everyone is fine.
and the next
BAM everyone is fucking screaming and acting insane.
I just don't understand it.
Maybe I wouldn't be so stressed or have anxiety over the simplest shit if people i lived with didn't act this way.
And now i have to deal with my dad all night because it's meet my fucking teachers night.
UGH.
:/

Fall Time

I'm sure everyone is starting to write about fall now...
But I mean come on, who wouldn't!
It's like the best time of the year.
Don't get me wrong I mean I love the summer and swimming,
but I love the fall..
just the smells and the scenery it's all so pretty
I made pumpkin muffins today and it totally got me in the mood for pumpkin picking and cooler weather:)
I love the fall clothes and just everything!
ugh i know.
I'm a mega loser but hey, i know i'm not the only one who thinks this!
:D

Resume

So i finally typed up my college resume
I am so happy i finally have it done!
It actually seems pretty awesome to me, and everyone else who has seen it
ummm
I just hope all goes well and i can get into any place i really want to.
Um today was okay
I forgot to give the heart rate monitor watch back to my gym teacher
oh well.
Tomorrow is my BIG senior picture,
I don't know what the hell i'm going to wear to stand out.
Ugh.
Anyways that's really it for now,
:D

Scholarships...

UGH
such a longgg and grueling process
I mean really
you can't apply to one thing without being taken to another site
where you have to join and answer all these questions
and surveys
and ugh so many things
BUT
on the bright side so many people don't want to go through with it that they stop midway
and those people who stick it out...
like ME
will end up winning
so tomorrow when I get home from school I will apply to more and start writing some of my essays for them
at least they're not realllly boring essays
most of them are your opinion or plans for the future
well anyways
i'm going to sleep soon
i'm shot.
:D

early nights

I actually love the fact that I am done early with homework and what not.
It is just great to know i'm done and yeahh
i have nothing to do now
but still i don't need to worry about school work
I came home at 12:30
(normal time for me now)
and I had lunch then i read whatever i didn't read in my stats book over the weekend
then i took all my stats stuff in bed and put the blanket over me..
and by now it's like one something and i ended up falling asleep until three
which i think was good
because i barely slept last night for some reason
umm anyways so when i got up i just did my stats homework
then i hung out downstairs for a little while
and then we had dinner and after that i came up and did my ap lit work
and nowww i'm on here haha
I will probably head to sleep early again
well anyways that's really it sooo
Bye
:D

Hi

So usually I have a title for what i'm going to write about...
but i don't really know what i want to talk about.
I am just bored haha
anyways
I went school supply shopping with my dad and his wife.
I Love that time of year...
I don't know why, I hate any shopping really
unless it's shoes or office supplies or home decor type stuff.
anyways
I also have a shit load of homework to do today.
I was going to be super good and continue doing my work the day i go it,
but Friday i was super tired and went to sleep at like ten
and last night we went to Brooklyn for my boyfriend's cousin's birthday soooo yeah
Then i was going to do it when we got home from the store
BUT instead i decided to organize my book bag and just do whatever
like typing right now on here haha
I am going to keep it up during the school week,
but on the weekends i probably wont do it on Fridays
I hate weekend work. even if it's uber simple i still hate it
my dad's going to fix my schedule again on Monday(tomorrow)
so hopefully all of that gets straightened out.
ummm yeah that's really it.
OHHH
I have blue hair now!!
well just the front is blue but still
blue hair haha
the new manic panic colors suck though
wayyyy too runny and just ugh
stain everything and come off on your pillow and clothes.
anyways yeah now i'm done!
:D

Ugh

Honestly I just feel like crying right now.
Over school.
I know that sounds just absurd.
But it's true.
I am so freaking stressed out over gym and everything
I hate school
I hate gym
I hate things not working out
ugh....
I don't understand why nothing ever seems to work out correctly ever for me.
The doctor i need the note from to get into adaptive gym suddenly fell off the face of the earth
and they are starting the mile run in gym which I just cannot do.
I will die
and today my back was freaking killing me for some reason
I can't get a permanent pass to the library because they fired the old librarian.
Ugh i just don't understand.
All I want is for my senior year to be great
and so far all it's doing is
Sucking!
:(

Hastle

Why?
I don't particularly understand why things constantly get screwed up.
I can't get a job without a physical
the nurse won't do it.
I Hate real doctors.
I can't get into adaptive gym without an additional form filled out.
We can't a hold of the guy who wrote my note.
so...I filled it out.
Which now i feel kinda guilty.
But it's not a major deal.
I just want this year to go smoothly.
I just want everything to be alright.
Ugh.
I hate the way my life goes sometimes.
I really do.

School Tomorrow

So I am kinda excited,
more then this morning anyways
I dyed my air blue....
which was a catastrophe in itself
anyways
I am going to paint my nails and head to bed
haha that rhymed
goodnight
:D

Senior Pictures:D

Me and my dad just ordered them!
I got three poses,
none of them in the cap and gown haha
But the ones we picked are really quite nice<3
I don't have colored hair, but i think that's fine since i'll have them forever
:D

Time...

Where the hell did the summer go?
ow is it already September 2nd?
I mean really I feel like school just ended and it's time to get ready for summer.
I used to look so forward to school time,
being a huge dork and all haha
but this year...I'm just not..
I don't want to see anyone
i don't want to do anything
I mean sure I'm going to keep my grades up and all
But I'm not looking forward to college apps and SATs
I'm just not feeling school this time around..

I can't concentrate

I don't know why.
I really want to get this homework over with.
But i just feel so restless
and i just don't want to do it.
I have two more journal entries
for their eyes were watching god
then i have to annotate and read (obviously)
the secret sharer.
I reallllly wanted to finish these things by the weekend
so i didn't have to stress two days before school
so i really need to push myself tonight and tomorrow night
UGH. 

My studded jacket/shirt!

So it's done!
I studded the collar and some of the pockets :D
I love it!
It's probably going to be a staple in my wardrobe
I was trying on clothes on for like an hour or so seeing how just about....
everything i owned looked with it!
My thumb hurts sooo much from trying to push in the studs. :/
anyways I'll put up some pictures!
<3

Spikes/Studs

WHOOP!
My package came in today!
The estimated day was on Thursday BUT they came today:)
I wanted to stud a shirt and maybe my old converse
I'll put in a picture of my old sneakers
I got a new pair for school like i do every year since i basically destroy them
these aren't that bad though since i broke my ankle i didn't wear them that much
haha well i wore my left foot XD
but if i studded my new ones my grandparents would kill me since they got them for me haha
anyways
I think i am going to go to the thrift store with my mom tomorrow so i can find a jean shirt or vest to stud
I don't really have any jean clothes and it'd be cool to stud something
especially if it's thrifted hahah
anyways YAY!
I am totally excited to do this project
I also want to get some dye so i can try to dye and fringe a shirt
i mean I've fringed so many things since i learned how
but a dyed shirt would be totally awesome!
:D

Grimm

So
there are not many TV shows that i watch every episode
besides contests like
top shot
faceoff (new season premiere tomorrow!!)
four weddings
or like reality shows
baggage
say yes to the dress
yeahhhh
anyways
so I really actually like Grimm
It's like criminal minds (which i LOVE)
But
it's mixed with fantasy which i think is totally awesome
Tim(my Boyfriend) <3
got the first season and we are watching all the episodes
since the new season already premiered and they took the first one off free on demand :(
Well i'm leaving to watch it now
:D

ying yang

SO
i decided to do ying yang nails
I only did my ring fingers because i have trouble doing all of them
especially on my right hand...
since i'm right handed haha
anyways it's so not perfect
BUT
here you go
:D

Searching...

Ugh so i went to Micheal's
walmart and a few other stores
searching for a kit  of spikes and studs.
I want to stud a collar and a pocket on a denim shirt i have....
Yet no such luck for me :(
I think I may have to order them off line
which i Hate doing

First off I hate waiting for things to come in
once i get hooked on a crafting idea
i just want to do it and be happy with the finished product
and two
you need a credit card
sooo
my dad will have to order it for me
which he also hates doing,
oh well.
Hopefully i can find some cheap ones to buy
:D

Summer Homework

UGH
I have so much to do and so little time:/
It is like the end of the summer already and I still have all three books, journals and annotation
damn, i should've started earlier.
I have to read three books:
1. Frankenstein
2. Their eyes are watching God
3. The secret sharer
I have to do journals for the first two
the last one is only 40 pages or so
BUT
it's supposedly the hardest read I will ever have
and I have to annotate like crazy. 
I am so Not excited about the work
But what am I going to do....?
I just have to do it.

Smoking Pot

Why?
Is it really because you feel invincible?
I don't understand, is it to get away from the everyday fucked up things that happen in life?
Guess what, when you come down from that high those problems are still going to be there..
Just because you escape for a few hours doesn't solve a damn thing.
Unless you plan on keeping your high by always being on drugs you are just....
Really I don't even know.
I have heard so many lame and common excuses it makes me quite sick actually.
Most of them from "friends,"
Who because of drugs have become barely acquaintances.
Instead of doing drugs to get the feeling of "I can be and do anything,"
Why don't you get an education,
get a clean slate,
better friends who actually care about you
and put the past and negativity behind you.
No one can erase, take back an action or bring back the dead,
BUT
everyone Can turn over a new leaf and become a better person.
No matter what some people would wish to think,
It's never too late to be someone else and something better.
I just wish more people would realize that besides myself. 

Period Issues

I don't have much to say besides-WTF?
I don't understand why my cycle is still messed up and unpredictable
stress?
diet?
I don't know
but i keep missing months or getting it for one day
And Then
getting it for two weeks
UGHHH
but whatever i'm not going to obsess
I'm just screwed up that's all
:D

North Carolina Trip

Everything did not exactly go according to plan....
At all actually.
Here's what happened:
1. car problems
2. Attitude problems
3. Bug problems
4. Sleeping arrangement problems
5. Physical Pain problems
It was a supposed nine hour drive
but the way there took 17 hours and the way back took 12 and 1/2
BUT
all in all it was a success
we moved in Tim's sister
and helped her out
she was really happy with her apartment and i must say
it was quite cute and you can do a lot with it
Really where she is looks like long island
well there is the update on that aha
:D

North Carolina

Today we are going to Brooklyn to load all of my boyfriend's sister's stuff
so we can move her down to north Carolina
I am so NOT looking forward to the ride.
I hate long car drives.
But then I also love taking rides and just listening to music and whatnot
that was a bit contradictory
anyways
I did ALL of my wash last night
pretty much everything i own really
I was up to 2:00am doing so
and i finally traded ipods with Tim!!
Whoop i am so excited about that
and my old ipod once tim fixes it is going to my nanny
I have to go take a shower now and pack
Hopefully I'll blog again soon!
Byeee
:D

Driving/Cars

SO i finally got my permit!!
and my boyfriend's sister just recently bought a car
a Nissan Altima to be exact haha
I'm now seeing that car
EVERYWERE 
anyways....I will be saving up like she did to buy my own car
and I have been just searching on Craigslist and what not to see what would be good for me
I really love the Toyota echo and Prius like 2000-20003
they are just so cute!
especially the light blue ones :)
and i also like the vw jetta and Hyundai accent
and i love the FIT and the yaris
but they are like  newer so i can't really find older used ones
I will eventually get up a picture of my permit haha
yeah sure just like my nails i never put up haha
I drove around the neighborhood and even on a semi-busy street and i did good
tomorrow i may try to drive in my moms car
ahaha this is all so exciting even though i haven't really shown that emotion
anyways i am off to bed
:D

Shitty Friends

I don't know what to do.
I really just want to give up,
give up and just let it all go.
But then again, how can I do that?
Just give up on everything I've been trying to prevent.
But then again, you are just too far gone for me to even help you.
Don't get me wrong....
I won't ever forget the person you used to be
or all of the great times we had together.
Not ever<3 

Boredom Kills...

Listening to my Itunes just doing nothing quite frankly.
I really do need to get on my summer English assignment and studying for my permit.
I don't really feel motivated though.
I really just want to do crafts and such
I might actually do some friendship bracelets
hahah
not that I have friends to give them to
But whatever.
John Mayer is playing
"say what you need to say....I sayyyyy"
ugh anyways
I actually DID get my nude lipstick!!
It wasn't exactly like I thought
no shocker there.
ummm but I kinda like it.
I am also procrastinating when it comes to wearing my new summer clothes
I don't know I was going to wear my new bright coral shirt...but we went to the mall and I knew I was going to get spaghetti with sauce so i didn't
smart move too
since i DID get it on me haha
Now Daughtry is on "crawling back to you"
Tim's song to me when we got back together
well anyways I think I'm going to go make some bracelets!
BYEE
:D

My Dad's Birthday

My dad just turned 46 on friday
the 13th may I add haha
but there was no bad luck actually it all went pretty well
umm I made a yellow cake with sugar free chocolate icing
since he is diabetic
I made breakfast with him
eggs and bacon
then we had ribs on the BBQ for dinner
which everyone loved
I don't like them but I was happy everyone else did
then we all went to the movies
to see ice age four!
It was actually really good :)
Then saturday for his birthday and for vicky my boyfriend's sister's birthday
we all went to splish splash
it was Very fun
me, my mom, my dad and my dad's wife all went on rides together
we went on the lazy river
wave pool
these HUGE scary slides
(omg my first one haha it was so scary!)
this family tube ride
haha i was screaming the whole time
and then we visited the kiddy section to see the elephant and octopus rides
since those are me and my dad's favorite animals
then we met up with my boyfriend and brothers and all went to the wave pool
right by splish splash is the outlets
so we had lunch and then me, vicky and her friend did some shopping
we went to claire's
express
toysrus
and bath and body works
I got a watermelon cherry hand sanitizer and a little rubber watermelon case thing to hang it on my bag.
It was just fun being out and doing whatever
well anyways it's late and I have to be up early to go to the pool!
:D

Nude Lipstick

SO...
I have been watching makeup videos and what not on youtube and I think the make up is nice.....
but just not:
ME
but then I was watching these two girls and one of them had on really pretty eye makeup
but nothing on her lips
(Or so i thought hahah)
She actually had on
NUDE lip stick!
Which I think is like the best thing
I mean i like pink and red and even like brownish purple
but not for every day
so i think i am going to get a nude shade for like a everyday type of thing
the one she had on was MAC's ravishing and in another video she had Wet and wild's bare it all

I know this is a totally stupid post but whatever
:D

Fighting Fueds.

Ugh
So yesterday everyone in my house was freaking out and screaming
Over the smallest things too
Of course i was cool, calm and collective
(One of my favorite things to say hahah)
yet everyone else was just...crazy.
I don't know why these fights even happen
and then in a day or two everything is...
Fine.
anyways that's really it
hahah
:D

Itunes

So
I am now redoing my itunes for like the 5th time.
My computer kept on crashing and I kept losing all of my music....
since it was almost all illegally downloaded haha
and now that I am doing it all over again
I have added all of my cd's and redownloaded all of my music from itunes that i bought
BUT
the youtube converter to download songs for free is not allowing that action to be done
:/
after months of saying:
"Yes! Today is the day I will redo my itunes"

I finally decide to do so and I can't.
Figures.
D:

July 4th

So today was pretty good.
There was one sun shower that got in the way,
but other then that all went well.
The fire works were all so beautiful.
I don't know what it is about lights
but I just love them<3

Wanted to share this

I think it's important:]

Parachute and The Cab

:)))))
Me and my boyfriend are going to the nyc concert
august 1st!
I am soooo excited!
Finally a concert I am really psyched about
ahah and both bands sound awesome live
:D

The Cab

OMG
So i have an unhealthy obsession with them
and i have been watching youtube videos of them
all night.
I love this one

:D

Huntington

oh god.
Me and my aunt lucy went to go meet
Andy Choen
some guy from bravo tv
It was tourture.
I have the Worst sunburn and there were 5 million people
UGH
She got a crappy picture
after 3 hours of waiting to meet him.
At least i got a new book
Devil in the white city by eric larsen
I'll let you know how it is!
:D

Thinking

So last night i was just laying in bed
thinking.
I can't believe that I am going to be 17, be a senior...
my life is starting right now.
Am i really ready for this?
I don't know.....
I mean I think that I am and i've been waiting for so long
to be older and move on with my life.
Time goes by way too fast!
:D

This song just brings all those thoughts back into my mind<3

Nails

I just painted my nails
but i made a design
to match my bathing suit :)
I think they're are okay
I have never had white nails so they look super weird to me
:D

Stretch marks..

Um
I just looked in the mirror under a strong light
and realized that I am covered in them.
EW 
I hate when I haven't looked at myself in so long that I don't even know what I look like.
I wish I would have never looked.

Before Sleep

I'm not really tired But I'm probably going to head to bed.
I was just looking at a bunch of old pictures,
Just thinking to myself that it's a good thing that they were taken
Or else I probably wouldn't have remembered half of those times
and when I leave high school I will probably never see those people again or really even talk to them.
I don't have many friends so It does make me sort of sad to think that way.
Ugh oh well.
I did get my report card I will upload a picture tomorrow
(If i even remember)
I know I still haven't put one of my lady bug nails
:] Night

Water Balloon Fight!

OMG so fun XD
Umm so we were supposed to go to the public pool since today was the opening date
BUT
we had thunder storms last night and this morning
but then around 12 or 1
it got warm and sunny
SO
we decided to fill up some balloons and throw them around
:D

Hamptons

SO
Me and my aunt went there today to see the stupid housewives.
Yeah, she loves them, I just tagged along.
I love it there
It's so peaceful
yet there are so many places to go
the stores are all so city like
there was one book store we went into because there was a book signing with one of the house wives
it was great!
It was round all black shelves just an awesome store
I wish i had time to actually look around.
We also went to some little cafe to eat and it was so great
we sat outside on this huge kind of like home porch type thing
they had hanging chandlers and those hanging flower pots with the vines pouring out.
It was so cute.
I know you need to be rich to live there, but hey people do it.
If I become a successful therapist and write a book
and my boyfriend gets a good job in radio or TV (if we're still together)
It would be great.
I could set everything up so nice and everyone (just kidding I have no friends XD) could come over.
I don't know....Just a dream I suppose.
Well it was really nice
I just wanted to get all of that out!
:D 

SAT

I just got my scores for the June SAT
I got a
520-reading
500-math
580-writing
I wish I did better BUT I got that without studying so i am sure i will do better the next time
which will be in october
once i study for it
:D

Today

SO I decided to make cake pops for the first time....
they were kind of a fail
so you're supposed to:
1. bake a cake which went over well
2. let it cool, ummm yeah i didn't really do that right since i was trying to speed up the process
3. crumble the cake and mix it with some frosting done
4. roll into balls which i think i made them too big
5. dip the sticks into melted chocolate and stick them into the ball done pretty good
6. freeze for like 20 minutes did that
7. melt more chocolate in a cup done
8. dip ball into chocolate and this is where i fail the balls just broke and crumbled or they just completely fell off into the chocolate and messed everything up.
9. let the chocolate sit ugh it was just clumpy and bad looking

BUT they did still taste pretty good so it wasn't all bad
everyone ate them and loved them.
I was just so upset they weren't perfect like all of the pictures and tutorials haha
Oh well
:D