ugh hey there

it's been sooo long like over a month and a half i think.
i'm sorry I've been away for a while.
my laptop is messed up again and i'm just super stressed out!
I got  a presidential scholarship from St. Joseph's college and my counselors are pressuring me to take it
but i'm holding out for stony brook which is where i really want to go
but they won't let me know until the latest april first and i just feel like i've been waiting forever
and no word.
its killing me.
i just want to hear something! 
i don't feel like myself
i just feel so aggravated and irritated and on edge
once i find out i can make my decision.
but i haven't heard anything.
and i don't see why i wouldn't  get in but it's taking forever
and what if i don't.
i haven't really thought about that.
then i'll be going to St. Joseph's which i never even had on my list.
but the scholarship is awesome.
ugh i can't handle this stress.
everyone who applied regular admissions has found out already,
but not me of course.
the school i really want to go to hasn't said anything.
it's terrifying to me,
i really do want to go there.
i'm even looking forward to there 5 week boot camp over the summer.
just as long as i get in!
i'll definitely will keep you posted!
Bye
:/